I would like to confess. It turns out I'm not the perfect homemaker/wife/mother that I always envisioned in my head. I used to say "When I'm a Mom, I will never (fill in the blank)", or "My child will never (fill in the blank)". Boy, does that set yourself up for disappointment (and sometimes embarrassment)! Never say never. I should have paid attention to that saying. It's true, I owe my sisters a big apology. I used to hate when they would say to me "you just wait...you'll see". Here's a list of the words I've eaten so far in my new role of Motherhood:
#1 - When I'm pregnant, I'm going to be the healthiest I've ever been.
Oh yes. I had big plans to treat my body like the temple it was. When I was pregnant, I was going to eat organic everything! I would never drink soda (who does that, anyway). In fact, I would cut out caffeine all together. After all, it can cause birth defects and low birth weight.
Horsesh*t. That all lasted about a month into my pregnancy. Then the cravings came on. When I hit my 2nd and 3rd trimesters, my body went into fits of calorie deprivation. If I happened to be driving and one hit, I would panic if I didn't see any golden arches in the horizon. Are you kidding me? McDonald's are everywhere...except for when I needed them. No doubt, I eventually found one and slammed a cheeseburger or three and then felt better. Oh, and a diet coke. Yep, that's right...caffeine and aspartame! What can I say, I took the whole "listen to your body" thing a bit too far at times. So what?
Luckily, my son is a picture of health and the mellowest dude this side of the Mississippi. Caffeine, schmaffeine!
#2 - I will never refer to my pregnancy or my child's age in weeks.
Who the heck communicates in weeks? I was never fast enough to divide by four to convert weeks to months to actually understand how far along you are or how old your child is, to therefore judge if you look too big or if you're child's development skills are up to par (just kidding, I would never do that ;). I would always just nod my head and act like I completely understood and then later would do the math to figure it out for sure. So, I vowed that I would never do that. When I was pregnant, I was going to speak to the masses in universal terms--months!
Now, you know from the context of this post that I have, indeed, eaten those words. Every week is soooo special and soooo different during your pregnancy and the new life of a precious child. But of course! That is why we speak in weeks, not months! However, since becoming a week-speaker, it has led me to a discovery. We are way older than we think we are. For example, Rome is now 23 weeks old. Next week he will be 24 weeks (or 6 months). But when I called to make his 6 month appointment, the receptionist said that he won't be 6 months until November 3rd and that the doctor will not see them until after that date. I thought to myself "well, that's insane...he'll be 26 weeks by then". Hmmmm. This led me to wonder just how old I am (I just had my 30th Birthday). So I did the math. According to the 52-week (13-month) calendar, I am actually 32 1/2 years old! What the heck? Back to the old ways of time calculation.
#3 - I will exercise regularly while pregnant and post-pregnancy.
I was just sure I would be one of those people, who because of breastfeeding, would drop the baby weight in no time. Heck, I might even be skinnier than I was before having the baby! Let's just say that last 10 pounds have decided to stick around for a while...despite my regular exercise.
#4 - I will make sure my child is not one of those attachment-y, clingy types
I will say that I have stood somewhat strong on this. I think I do a good amount of holding Rome, but I also give him ample time to entertain himself while I get things done. And I don't pick him up the second he starts crying. But, he just started this new thing where he reaches out his arms and actually acts like he wants me and I'm sorry, but it just completely melts my heart. I cave every time...it makes me feel so loved.
Now, here's a list of Nevers that I've yet to eat (we'll see what happens):
I will never drive a mini-van.
My kids will not be allowed to eat fast food.
My kids will not be allowed to eat junk food.
I will never bribe my children.
My children will not be picky eaters.
My kids will not be allowed to play video games.
I will never use the TV as a babysitter.
I will never wear Mom-jeans.
Of course, I'm exaggerating a tad. I know it's impossible to keep kids from ever eating junk food or fast food, but read my lips...
I. Will. Never. Wear. Mom. Jeans.
#1 - When I'm pregnant, I'm going to be the healthiest I've ever been.
Oh yes. I had big plans to treat my body like the temple it was. When I was pregnant, I was going to eat organic everything! I would never drink soda (who does that, anyway). In fact, I would cut out caffeine all together. After all, it can cause birth defects and low birth weight.
Horsesh*t. That all lasted about a month into my pregnancy. Then the cravings came on. When I hit my 2nd and 3rd trimesters, my body went into fits of calorie deprivation. If I happened to be driving and one hit, I would panic if I didn't see any golden arches in the horizon. Are you kidding me? McDonald's are everywhere...except for when I needed them. No doubt, I eventually found one and slammed a cheeseburger or three and then felt better. Oh, and a diet coke. Yep, that's right...caffeine and aspartame! What can I say, I took the whole "listen to your body" thing a bit too far at times. So what?
Luckily, my son is a picture of health and the mellowest dude this side of the Mississippi. Caffeine, schmaffeine!
#2 - I will never refer to my pregnancy or my child's age in weeks.
Who the heck communicates in weeks? I was never fast enough to divide by four to convert weeks to months to actually understand how far along you are or how old your child is, to therefore judge if you look too big or if you're child's development skills are up to par (just kidding, I would never do that ;). I would always just nod my head and act like I completely understood and then later would do the math to figure it out for sure. So, I vowed that I would never do that. When I was pregnant, I was going to speak to the masses in universal terms--months!
Now, you know from the context of this post that I have, indeed, eaten those words. Every week is soooo special and soooo different during your pregnancy and the new life of a precious child. But of course! That is why we speak in weeks, not months! However, since becoming a week-speaker, it has led me to a discovery. We are way older than we think we are. For example, Rome is now 23 weeks old. Next week he will be 24 weeks (or 6 months). But when I called to make his 6 month appointment, the receptionist said that he won't be 6 months until November 3rd and that the doctor will not see them until after that date. I thought to myself "well, that's insane...he'll be 26 weeks by then". Hmmmm. This led me to wonder just how old I am (I just had my 30th Birthday). So I did the math. According to the 52-week (13-month) calendar, I am actually 32 1/2 years old! What the heck? Back to the old ways of time calculation.
#3 - I will exercise regularly while pregnant and post-pregnancy.
I was just sure I would be one of those people, who because of breastfeeding, would drop the baby weight in no time. Heck, I might even be skinnier than I was before having the baby! Let's just say that last 10 pounds have decided to stick around for a while...despite my regular exercise.
#4 - I will make sure my child is not one of those attachment-y, clingy types
I will say that I have stood somewhat strong on this. I think I do a good amount of holding Rome, but I also give him ample time to entertain himself while I get things done. And I don't pick him up the second he starts crying. But, he just started this new thing where he reaches out his arms and actually acts like he wants me and I'm sorry, but it just completely melts my heart. I cave every time...it makes me feel so loved.
Now, here's a list of Nevers that I've yet to eat (we'll see what happens):
I will never drive a mini-van.
My kids will not be allowed to eat fast food.
My kids will not be allowed to eat junk food.
I will never bribe my children.
My children will not be picky eaters.
My kids will not be allowed to play video games.
I will never use the TV as a babysitter.
I will never wear Mom-jeans.
Of course, I'm exaggerating a tad. I know it's impossible to keep kids from ever eating junk food or fast food, but read my lips...
I. Will. Never. Wear. Mom. Jeans.
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